That's what my husband calls it when I cry. He says this because I hate to cry. I stuff things down until I just can't contain it anymore, then . . . who knows what little thing can make everything else just spill out?!?!
But, for someone who hates to cry, I have cried plenty lately. Of course, some of it has been PMS & I cry about irrational things. That happened on Sunday a week ago. Yesterday was another story.
I love the song "Blessings" by Laura Story. I've wanted to sing it in church since I first heard it last spring. I've actually had the music since about 5 minutes after the first time I heard it. I mean, it's pretty. Easy to sing, musically speaking. The words have a special message . . .
until it relates to something actually going on in your life, then the message begins to hit a little too close to home. Not a song for Mother's Day. Satan knows our weak spots. When we think he's forgotten about us, all too quickly he reminds us he's still there & we realize he was just taking his time doing his research to find our weakest spot.
Just a little while after I decided I was going to sing the song in church, a mother & father found out that their baby, their only child, had cancer. To make a long story short, because the message of the song had become all too real, I have been avoiding the song.
This family now is in New York for surgery. Although I knew that this song has been special to this mother, I purposefully waited for them to leave town before I would sing. Now I regret not singing it while they were here. I blubbered through the entire thing. I mean, BLUBBERED! Every time I thought I had it together to sing again, I would look up and see someone else crying. I don't know if everyone else was thinking about this same family. It's likely, but I also know that many people in our congregation are hurting for various reasons. I was not embarrassed. For a song with such a simple melody, it has a powerful message. And as Ms. Jane said to me yesterday, this song gave these people the opportunity to cry & get it out. Empty the trash!
I will try the song again later. Hopefully that precious family will be there when I do. I also hope to make it through the entire song without crying. I want to share the words! But, if not, I'll give folks another opportunity to empty their trash.
Saxon family, I'm praying for you. Regardless of the outcome, you are blessed.
"What if Your blessings come through raindrops, What if Your healing comes through tears, And what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near? What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy? And what if trials of this life, the rain, the storms, the hardest nights are Your mercies in disguise?" Blessings, Laura Story